Listening, not talking your way to a sale. The art of shutting up

After years of making my living selling things I eventually realised that listening to people carefully and respectfully was so much more powerful than talking.

Obviously when trying to sell anything you need to talk a little and not just listen, but so many salespeople miss the power of really listening.

To really engage another human being by listening you must be willing to think hard because they may be about to make a point that could challenge the way you think.

When somebody truly believes that you are listening to each word said, and thinking deeply about the point made, the respect the speaker has for you will rise instantly.

I have observed sales people for over two decades now and the contrast between a listener and what, I call a deaf salesperson are enormous. The listener engages by looking directly at the other person and often gives non-verbal messages to show they are listening. Little physical signs like nodding along as someone talks to acknowledge and encourage the talker.

What Really Good Listeners Do

When you watch a good listener, they tend to respond to the other person with comments that reflect a clear understanding of what the other person has said. This is clear when you observe it and the listener often uses the other person’s words in reflecting on what they have just said.

A good listener often uses open-ended questions that encourage the person speaking to tell them even more. Another technique that good listeners use is describing what they feel about what the person has just said.

Good listeners in any business or personal conversation tend to avoid criticising, interrupting or diagnosing what the other person has just said.

What Good Listeners Never Do

Great listeners do not talk about themselves when responding in conversation and they are conscious of the person talking is feeling. Another thing that good listeners will never do is stand with arms folded whilst listening, bad body language will subconsciously make the talker feel invalidated.

I often observe what effective sales people do when they are listening and I take notes about the things they say and do. Clever sales people use phrases like so it seems that and what I understand so far etc.

Good salespeople also repeat what the other person has said by saying things like, so you believe that and so from your point of view. Another thing that I note effective communicators doing is checking their own understanding constantly.

The following Phrases clarify what someone has said

• Do you mind if I see that I have understood correctly

• So from your perspective the issue is

• Would you mind me recapping the key points you have made

• So in your mind it means

• You sound like you feel

• I am not sure I fully understand

• What I think you are saying is

When you translate back to someone in your words what they have just said, it not only clarifies meaning but also lets them know you have been listening intently and really wish to understand and connect with them.

In business people are so use to others ramming home their own agendas and making points rudely before sentences are even finished, when they meet someone willing to really engage and acknowledge the points they are making it will often lead to a relationship.

When I say relationship, this can mean immediate economic action or a connection that will cause the people to do business later.

When you are aiming to understand the points a speaker is making, if you restate the key points in a respectful inquisitive way you not only build instant repoire but you also validate what the person has said. This has the effect of making the person like you a lot more then a listener who analyzes instead of clarifying.

Paul Ingersole is an Australian based business person who enjoys writing.Paul discovered a great system that makes small continuous recurring profits using the internet.You can see Google Sniper at Paul’s website

http://www.guruswipe.com

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